SNL Premiere Skewers Trump on Netflix-WBD Deal, Epstein, and Santa While High on Adderall and Ambien

Saturday Night Live kicked off once more showcasing Donald Trump, portrayed by James Austin Johnson, who attempts to navigate a press event on Air Force One while under the influence of Adderall and Ambien.

A journalist posed the question, “What can you tell us about the new Epstein photos that the House Democrats released?”

Johnson, as Trump, retorted, “These photos are nothing but a fabricated scandal, a typical Democrat deception.”

The journalist persisted, “What about the image featuring a bowl of condoms bearing your likeness and the caption ‘I’m huge.'”

Trump answered, “Absolutely genuine. I adore those documents. I’m featured in them. Took lots of terrific photos.”

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Indeed, the House Oversight Committee Democrats had just released a series of Epstein photos the previous Friday.

During the sketch, Trump addresses the media peeking through a curtain on Air Force One, frequently glancing at his press secretary Karoline Leavitt, played by Ashley Padilla.

Reporters also grilled Trump about recent U.S. actions against purported Venezuelan drug vessels, which escalated with the U.S. confiscating a Venezuelan oil tanker.

Answering an inquiry about the tanker seizure, Trump delivered a rambling, disjointed response.

“Now we’re playing pirates,” Trump declared. “Arghh!”

He continued, “It’s funny. Just last week, I called Somalis trash, and now look at us, commandeering ships. Isn’t that ironic? Alanis Morissette is terrific in Dogma. Speaking of which, I’m the captain now. You remember that from Captain Phillips, ‘I’m the Captain.’ Great line. Love that movie—after Captain Crunch of course! Why not just all Crunch Berries? Seems like the Ambien is winning out. But don’t worry, Adderall’s still in the game.”

On the topic of continuing the maritime strikes, Trump revealed plans to extend them to aircraft as well. He then showed reporters a declassified video of a strike—the target turned out to be Santa Claus and his reindeer, who were promptly obliterated.

“Is that Santa Claus?” a journalist inquired.

“Not anymore. Next question,” Trump dismissively replied.

“Mr. President, any thoughts on the potential sale of Warner Bros to Netflix?” another reporter asked.

“Why would anyone want Warner Bros? Their studio tour is the worst in L.A. It’s just a kid pointing at a tree saying, ‘That’s the tree from Pretty Little Liars.’ I’d rather visit the Gilmore Girls gazebo or the Batman museum,” Trump quipped.

After persistent questions about Epstein, Leavitt ended the press event.

“The president needs his rest,” she informed the journalists.

Trump then added, “It’s true. I have to start my pre-sleep routine—it’s a complex process of bandaging and make-up, almost like a ‘medical lasagna.’ Mamma mia! You should all be concerned; I’m quite ill. After this, I’ll brush my teeth and dream about Karoline’s mouth.”

Watch the entire sketch above.