Trump Dozes Off in SNL’s Fiery Pentagon Presser Post-Thanksgiving Return!

“If I were to have a drink for every Venezuelan that’s been taken out, I’d certainly enjoy that number of drinks,” joked the character of Donald Trump’s Secretary of Defense during a particularly fiery cold open on Saturday Night Live.

Amid a cabinet that’s often the butt of the joke, Pete Hegseth stands out as a real comic gem. Last night’s SNL featured a sleepy Trump, portrayed by James Austin Johnson, startling awake to crack jokes alongside Hegseth. Johnson’s spot-on impersonation of Trump and Colin Jost’s rare appearance outside of Weekend Update as the exuberant former Fox host added to the hilarity.

“Pete is beloved,” declared Johnson’s Trump when asked about the potential immediate dismissal of Hegseth.

Johnson’s portrayal of Trump was uniquely Trump-like, unable to stop himself from continuing.

As for Hegseth, despite proving himself wholly unqualified, SNL’s Trump blurted out the uncomfortable truth: “He’s a terrific guy. It’s just fog of war, you know? Fog of war, it’s something you mention only after you’ve committed a war crime, right? It’s not like a general would say everything went as planned under fog of war. It’s akin to walking into an Equinox sauna and suddenly finding yourself doing things you’ve never done before. Fog of War. We absolutely love it. It’s a fantastic new excuse. So, I back Pete entirely, unless it backfires on me, in which case, I’ll quickly throw him under one of Mamdani’s complimentary buses.”

Moreover, tonight’s brief yet poignant cold open was both timely and well-executed. With a swift mention of Netflix’s massive $83 billion acquisition of Warner Bros this week, the jokes hit almost as hard as US military hardware against vessels and suspected drug traffickers off the Venezuelan coast.

“That type of ruthless, merciless action has no place in Operation Kill Everybody,” roared Jost’s Hegseth when confronted about the dubious claim that he ordered the Navy to execute Venezuelans at sea.

The partly fictional Hegseth added, “First off, I wasn’t there when it happened. Okay? The adrenaline rush from the initial strike was so intense I had to urgently call my sponsor—sorry, a fellow from an Anonymous meeting. It’s not like I’m craving something I like and want, but can’t have, yet I want it, and need it, and want it right now. It’s booze.”

Returning for the first time since November 16, Saturday Night Live had numerous strong choices for tonight’s cold open—many of which naturally involved Trump and his MAGA-supporting crew like Hegseth. Just in the past few days, we saw POTUS nodding off during his full cabinet meeting packed with sycophants, his appearance at the FIFA 2026 World Cup draw on December 5 where he received a makeshift Peace Prize from the international soccer body, and then today’s awkward and Jimmy Kimmel-laden Oval Office interaction with this year’s Kennedy Center honorees.

Certainly, on a spree more coarse than usual for the sexually abusive convicted POTUS, Trump’s recent verbal assaults on female reporters, including this morning’s attack calling CNN’s GOP-friendly Kaitlan Collins “stupid and nasty,” are ripe for satire and criticism.

Fresh off the White House’s continued mockery of last week’s host Sabrina Carpenter, tonight’s SNL welcomes Melissa McCarthy back for her sixth hosting stint. Dijon is tonight’s musical act for the 995th SNL episode, marking the seventh show of the 51st Season.

Having first hosted back in 2011, McCarthy’s 2017 stint solidified her status in political comedy as the notorious former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer. Her Emmy-winning portrayal of the quick-tempered GOP stalwart saw her playing Spicer multiple times on SNL, even once live from LA during her travels in 2017.

Honestly, I was almost certain we’d see a Spicer cameo with McCarthy around. It’s a relief to be wrong, as the actual cold open was so succinct, it didn’t need any nostalgic elements.

As we head into the holiday season and New Year’s, there are two more SNL episodes left for 2025. Next week features ‘Wake Up Dead Man’s Josh O’Connor with fellow Brit Lily Allen as the musical guest. December 20 will have Ariana Grande returning to lead the late-night show, with music legend Cher providing the tunes, and likely some special guests.