So Bishop Lazi heard that his treatise on the proposed Patriot Bill, which is premised on giving sellouts and other quislings of hostile forces their just desserts, had riled the runaway fugitive Professor Jonathan Moyo from his hideout in Kenya.
It was never the Bishop’s intention to get under the mad Professor’s skin, but to get inside his head, which is no small feat — if you catch my drift. Kikikiki.
Eliciting such a response from him is quite encouraging and reassuring.
You see, when it comes to politics, if Professor Moyo indicates left, you should turn right, and when he indicates right, it would be wise to turn left.
Doing the things that he counsels against surely has to be the right thing to do, because the chap’s self-serving political schemes have abjectly and catastrophically failed at every turn, which is part of the reason why he finds himself marooned in East Africa.
Studying political phenomena doesn’t make one an astute politician, just like being a law lecturer doesn’t make one a brilliant lawyer.
Politicians are consequential political agents of sterner stuff who make and shape history, and not lily-livered grown-ups who take flight whimpering “mama, save us!” at the slightest sign of danger. Kikikiki.
Fighters, like real soldiers, do run, the same way Jonathan ran away from a guerilla training camp in Tanzania, but they die with their boots on.
But those who know the Prof as Bishop Lazi does will tell you he wasn’t in the least interested in becoming a political scientist, which explains his impressive catalogue of failures in politics.
Instead, he wanted to study film and music.
As we all know, those who pay the piper always call the tune — those who offered him a scholarship to study at the University of South Carolina in the late 1970s wanted him to study public policy, and so he did.
He took time to take some courses in songwriting and acquainting himself with film and scriptwriting regardless.
This is why it is not surprising that the most valuable contribution he brings to politics is American hubris, an ungoverned sharp tongue and political drama.
However, as he was a troublesome gadfly (a persistent irritant), some politicians thought that in typical US president Lyndon Johnson’s style it was “probably better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in”, and this is how his political career was born.
Save for a few positives in the arts sector, the legacy of Professor Moyo is very clear: a heavily polarised society divided by his incendiary rhetoric and toxic double-forked tongue.
But this does not concern the Bishop much.
What is, however, worrying is his stint at Stanford University, which is the breeding ground of some US State Department hawks who are responsible for administering Washington’s foreign policy.
Maybe you still remember one of its alumni, Jendayi Frazer, the meddlesome former US Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs, who former president Cde Robert Mugabe once described as the “little American girl” in April 2008 for assiduously but unsuccessfully working for regime change in Zimbabwe.
Well, she was at Stanford at the same time as Moyo.
There is consensus that it is at Stanford where the Professor was recruited to do the bidding of the Americans.
Some prefer to call him an American spy, but that would be to trivialise and discount the highly onerous and professional work of men and women who work in the shadows.
The guy is simply a shameless informant who, until that drizzly morning in November 2017, thought he could leverage on his powerful allies to patiently worm himself into the Presidium.
Entertaining such a political wet dream takes incredible naivety and breathtaking myopia. Kikikiki.
It is hardly surprising why wannabe politicians like the Professor and his ilk will take umbrage at the Patriot Bill, which seeks to cut the umbilical cord that hostile forces us to support quislings to further undermine the country’s security and economic interests.
As Bishop Lazi said last week, this proposed piece of legislation is innocuous for the innocent but deterrent for the ill-willed amongst us.
The Holy Book in John 3:19-21 guides us: “And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”
Ephesians 5:11 also warns: “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”
Although those working with hostile forces know full well that they cannot possibly dislodge the time-tested regime in Harare, which has historically come against extraordinary odds staked against it, they are happy to continue milking their deep-pocketed puppeteers.
If there was ever any doubt that there are active behind-the-scenes liaisons between those who consider themselves the country’s adversaries and MDC America, sorry MDC Alliance, the recent communication from US State Department spokesperson Ned Price might put things into perspective.
It essentially mimics the position Tendai Biti has been fulminating about since his recall from Parliament on March 17, blaming Government for his political woes.
How ZANU PF can be accused of being behind the recall of MDC-T and PDP MPs boggles the mind.
“The ZANU PF is misusing the levers of government to silence critics, neutralise opposition, and entrench its political power over the Zimbabwean political people,” complained Price.
There is no doubt whatsoever that these talking points were drafted in Harare and broadcast in Washington.
The pattern is undeniably clear: The statement by the US State Department spokesperson was similar to the arguments that were being made by Biti ever since he was recently expelled from Parliament, in the same way the letter by the US Senate chairperson for the committee on Foreign Relations, James Risch, to World Bank president David Malpass on June 2 last year to ostensibly deny Zimbabwe Covid-19 relief funds was the same as Biti’s letter to same person 13 days earlier.
This is all the more reason why the Patriot Bill is necessary.
Chamisa on notice
But the statement from the US will not bother Harare much, as it is busy with reforms to lift its people out of poverty by increasing production and modernising its infrastructure.
Signs of progress are already apparent.
After a successful wheat crop last year, Zimbabwe’s maize crop output — forecast at 2,8 million tonnes — is set to be the highest since 1984, while companies’ volumes and profits are impressively recovering.
Zimbabwe is ambitiously aiming for the sun and will happily fall onto the moon.
These are the preoccupations that presently exercise the leadership in our teapot-shaped Republic.
Make no mistake about it, there is a time for everything, and the time for electioneering will surely come.
The person who must fear the statement from Washington the most is young Nelson Chamisa.
The Americans’ pointedly unflinching and unwavering support for Biti shows who their preferred man in Harare is.
In August 2018 when Zambia deported Biti back to Zimbabwe where he was facing charges of contravening the electoral law, it almost caused a diplomatic row between Lusaka and Washington, which is telling.
This is reason enough to make Chamisa’s head ache, his tummy rumble, his knees buckle and his small boots quack.
He should sleep with one eye open.
MDC-A handlers have long settled that he is ineffectual and weak to present a formidable challenge for ZANU PF.
As we have seen with Morgan Tsvangirai, the power hungry in the beleaguered political party, who include his vice presidents and the directless Job Sikhala, will let the young man sleepwalk into another election in 2023 for yet another assured and inevitable humbling defeat, which will significantly further undercut his waning political capital and pave the way for them to make their move.
History has an uncanny way of repeating itself, particularly to those who are not consequential to change and shape it.
Like Professor Jonathan Moyo, Chamisa seems to make wrong strategic political decisions at every turn.
He should learn to read the signs.